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| Author |
Message |
Austin
POL Developer
Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 354
Location: San Diego, California
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 Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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Well lets bring on the return of DreamWeaver's Beer Tithe...
http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/pol-scriptforum/message/17113
| Quote: |
The current poll asks how much money Mytharria is worth to you. We realize
that most of you are poor, and can't pay. In any event, we can't charge, as
the OSI legal department would jump up and down on our ribcages. However,
that does not free you from your responsibilities as a Mytharrian player.
At first I was going to request that all Mytharrians donate Myth's worth (or
what they could afford) to a charity each month. However, that would take
too much time and effort to explain to newbies, and I doubt anyone would
actually do it.
So now I've come up with a solution. I call it the Mytharrian Beer Tithe
System. Under this simple system, all Mytharrian players will donate 1 beer
to Dream Weaver for ever 10 that they drink. Players should save up these
beers until there's a proper 6-pack, then pack them up and ship them to
Dream Weaver.
Now, this may be a problem for some players, so I'll offer some rewards for
participation. For every six-pack of beer that you send me, I'll give you
ten (10) in-game kegs of beer! Yes, ten! What a deal! Furthermore, the
player who sends me the most beer each month will be rewarded with the title
of "Mytharrian High Drunkard" for the subsequent month. Truly that is a
title of distinction.
FAQ
Q. I don't drink beer. What can I do?
A. Start. Now.
Q. No, really, I don't drink beer. What can I do?
A. You can substitute high-quality wine.
Q. I'm too young to drink beer. What should I do?
A. In the unlikely event that a player is unable to consume the beer
themselves, they can select a friend or relative who drinks beer to be the
surrogate drinker. However, in such a case care should be taken to select
the individual with the highest beer intake.
Q. Does it matter what kind of beer I drink?
A. No. However, it does matter what kind of beer you send to Dream Weaver.
Pale, flavorless, mass-produced beers (Bud, Miller, anything from Canada)
will not be tolerated. Schlitz, Schaeffer, etc, will get you shot. We
recommend Guinness, Sam Smith's, or Pilsner Urquel.
Q. What will Dream Weaver do with all this beer?
A. What are you, a Canadian? He'll drink it, get glassy-eyed, and spawn lots
of strange monsters in Dawn. He'll then yell at a random player on the
messageboard, pee on his dog, and go to bed.
Q. I'm in the military. Am I still required to be in the program?
A. Military members work terrible hours in a crappy job for paltry pay and
benefits, working to protect my freedom and way of life. They are exempt
from the beer tithe. In fact, when on leave they should receive an extra
ration of beer from all Mytharrians.
Q. Does this include non-American military members?
A. No. Even though the militaries of most Mytharrian players' countries are
our allies, at one time we had to kick the tar out of most of you. Those we
didn't, will no doubt have their tar kicked at some time in the future. It
would be traitorous for me to exempt you from the beer title.
The Mytharrian Beer Title System goes into effect immediately. We look
forward to your continuing participation.
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